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The Mystery of Marriage
By C.R. Hamilton

In this article we challenge the traditional meaning of marriage and reveal a deep and profound mystery. The reason we are addressing this is that many religions uphold marriage as being sacred, but if the man-made laws of divorce continue to prevail in society and in churches, how will we ever know marriage in its true form? If you are not prepared to question tradition, do not read this article.

Many people do not know the true meaning of marriage. Men and women marry everyday somewhere in the world not understanding what they are supposed to be committing to or even why they are marrying. Marriage was the very first covenant of God between and man and a woman and if a person does not believe in the religious sanction of marriage, they should understand nature's purpose for man, woman, and love.

The divorce rate is at its highest in America although the covenant of marriage remains a traditional past time. Of course, the times are changing and the reasoning of many concerning marriage varies according to a persons needs and desires. People marry for reasons other than love: this fact is evident according to the divorce rate. In other words, there is no other reason people divorce other than they did not love one another from the beginning.

Some will say it began as love, but over the years - or the first few months - the love deteriorated somehow. Some say that it is possible to fall out of love, but that too, is a mere excuse to escape the commitment. If God puts two people together, the word divorce would never enter the couple's vocabulary. This theory is derived from the biblical concepts of promise and eternity. The relationship between a man and a woman is one of nature's most original and effortless commitments if pursued through, and by the standards of the one whom created the union.

Women today appear to be having trouble finding a "good man", and men are having problems understanding what it takes to please a woman. There has not been a breakdown of the biological system causing both men and women to behave abnormally; on the contrary, the rules of society have changed to the point that the roles are confused. As humans, we can still love and care-for and commit, but the reasons for which we choose to do the latter have changed. In other words, there are some good men, but today the definition of a man is blurred.

It really does not take much to please a woman. There is no particular order or correct way to court her, and with the many particulars of romance being introduced into society many women have no idea what should please her. In the mist of confusion, both males and females fall short of society's meaning of what marriage is supposed to be. However, if entered into by the natural laws of nature, a marriage can last a lifetime and thereafter: and this is how.

A woman cannot find a good man because, first, she should not be looking for one. The man finds the woman. Although according to today's standards this concept violates the new-age norm of the woman's right to choose, and her right to independence, the standard must be violated if God is involved. Whether a woman chooses to live by the theories of the world or by the laws of God, her choice will determine her being espoused to the right man.

If she looks, she will be looking in the direction of the world and according to the world's definition of what a good man is. Once she stumbles upon this societal-made, pseudo-definition of a man, he will be everything the world said he would be. Nevertheless, underneath all that the world said he would be is in fact, himself. When she discovers the real him and he is not what the world said he would be, regardless of whom he really is, she will not be satisfied. He will not be doing what the world said he would do: buy her flowers, candy, wish her "Happy Valentines Day", buy her diamonds and pearls, and such like, but in reality, he will be the opposite.

The thought does not actually count, by the standards of the world: Money does, and presents and dainties. It is at the point where sexual performance has made a tremendous debut in determining the authenticity of a "real man." This fact may not be true for all women, but its priority is beginning to rank high on the list-of-things he can do. Many women are truly happy with attention, trust, devotion, honesty, and such like, the mental and emotional characteristics of a man.

Once they recognize that physical characteristics do not satisfy that inward yearning sought for, then, and only then, does the mental and emotional characteristics come into play. Nevertheless, the world defines even these in inordinately affectionate behavior. "A man should be sensitive," is what they say; and willing to share the responsibilities equally. Able to respect a woman's decision to work and have a career outside the home and to pursue her deepest desires and wildest dreams, if she chooses. In other words, a man should stop being a man, and God forbid ask for a little attention and needed consideration, but should bow to the emotional needs and demands of the woman. A man needs support too.

Men carry with them future visions of well-planned lives and dreams for his family. Women carry visions but only throughout the next few weeks. A man [a real man] knows his responsibility and is willing to fulfill it, but if told how to by society and a bunch of liberal-feminist ideas of what and how he is suppose to do it, he will rebel. But so much for the characteristics of men and women, here is the correct procedure for marriage in the eyes of God.

First, there is no such thing as divorce. Divorce, from a biblical perspective was given to the children of Israel because of the hardness of their hearts. They were revelrous and lustful and were easily distracted by the opposite sex; therefore, Moses gave them the deed of the writing of divorce. However, from the beginning, it was not so. Men and women were not ever supposed to get divorced once God joined them.

In the Old Testament, men would go and choose a woman and that was that. Love came naturally. Nevertheless, when man took the concept of men choosing, and made it a tradition, that is when marriages were forced against the couple's will. It was never meant to be that way either. Love has a natural order and came about through what God knew would grow. If two people were not supposed to be together, God never put them together. There is not one marriage in the Old Testament that ended in divorce other than when the children of Israel began to request a writing of divorce.

Then, marriage became traditional, and many rituals were added, like the wedding ceremony. It became written law of the land when people were married and when they divorced. Then came the wedding day traditions and the wedding ring and the bride's maid and the bachelor parties and all other sorts of man-made rituals that did nothing more than cheapen the sanctity of marriage.

They made marriage vows that were to be recited before God as if he would honor anything other than love. Then they took the word "obey" out of the man-made marriage vows and changed the way a wife can or should love her husband. Moreover, the sanctity of marriage was more defiled when society began to consider that maybe it is ok if two of the same sex decided to commit to the covenant. Now, marriage is nothing more than a joke. Nevertheless, marriage in the eyes of God has never changed.

The problem is, no one really knows what a God given marriage is supposed to be. Yet, there is one theory that is closes to what God requires in a marriage and that theory is in the following concept. Love, is the ultimate ingredient in a God given marriage. If neither of the two involved in a marriage is actually in love with the other, then the marriage will never last, as do most of them. God is love; therefore, if God, or love is not involved in the marriage, then the marriage cannot logically come from God.

Many people marry another under a false impression of love, and marry according to their lust. There are other reasons people marry such as money, security, tradition, or out of desperation, all of which have nothing to do with God. Another important characteristic in an idea marriage is trust. Yet, how many marriages end in divorce because of adultery. The word adultery is not even used in a conversation discussing marriage; the concept has been spiced up a bit to the term "affair." No one wants to confront the evil that is associated with breaking one of the forbidden commandments.

The written marriage that requires a priest, preacher, judge, or captain of a ship, has no actual recognition in the eyes of God, since it is love that constitutes a marriage before him. A marriage license is nothing more than a signed contract to keep records on who is living with whom. The actual paper is not a sufficient supplement for what God intended when he put a man and a woman together. In all actuality, no couple that falls in love is required by God to go and take the marriage vows then sign a piece of paper; that is not written in his word and it is not a traditional ordinance written anywhere in the Old Testament. The Greek and Roman government under the rule of modern advancement and the increase of world population first introduced this practice. It was only used for, as stated before, to keep up with who was living with whom.

So, how does an actual marriage from God work, and when does he acknowledge a couple as husband and wife? When the man and the woman first lay together they are considered married in the eyes of God, and that, only if they love one another. If there is no love between them then the act of lying together only constitutes fornication. However, if there is true love, the agape love that God sheds in the heart of a man for a woman and vise-versa, then God considers it a marriage.

Is there no vows exchanged or papers to sign or anything to consecrate the marriage? No, there is nothing more than the coming together of a man and a woman that consecrates a marriage in the eyes of God. Until they come together, and they know they love each other, this is considered espousal, just as Joseph was espoused to Mary, the mother of Jesus. They had not yet come together and Mary was found with child. Joseph then decided to put Mary away [divorce her] because he thought that she had been unfaithful before he had ever touched her.

Jesus confirms this when he says that there is only one reason to put away a spouse and that is for the cause of fornication, but a person cannot commit fornication when they are married, they can only commit adultery. The bible states that, in order to avoid fornication every man should have his own wife and every woman her own husband; therefore, one cannot commit fornication if they already have a spouse.

This confirms the fact that there is no reason whatsoever for anyone to ever divorce. As the scripture states, from the beginning it was not so. In the beginning of time, there were no divorces and there should be none now. If a couple gets divorced then the marriage could never have been from God. Many people get married before they know these rules and they divorce also because of ignorance of these rules, yet, pastors do not teach marriage in this manner because they themselves have not the knowledge of what true marriage is all about. If they did, they would know that just because a couple of people stand before them and they read a few scriptures out of the bible, and the couple kisses once, it does not constitute a marriage.

They would know that if a man and a woman has been seen together leaving the man's house early in the morning and they have never been to him to take the vows, that it is possible that they are married and not in a state of fornication. Yet, men desire the traditional marriage ceremony so that they can keep tract of who is who. They refuse to search the scriptures deeper for the actual meaning of marriage because they are afraid they will find some truth and have to redo everything they have organized the past 3000 years.

Nevertheless, when a man comes together with a woman and they truly love each other, then they are considered married in the eyes of God. No paper can take the place of true love and what was meant from the beginning. Furthermore, the scripture also states that what God has put together let not man put asunder. Once a couple comes together, it is forever and no one can tear them apart no matter how hard they try. In addition, marriage between a man and a woman is a shadow and type of the church and its marriage to Christ. There were no papers signed or vows to take or ceremonies to attend, the only thing required from the bride of Christ is love, and that is the only thing required to have and to constitute a marriage.

© 2000 By Sound Doctrine Inc.

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