Finding a husband has always been a challenge for Black women in America; finding a good husband is even more of a challenge, and if a good man is found, keeping that man starts the real struggle. Depending on the type of man that stirs a woman's heart, she can capture that man using her outward beauty and achievements or simply with the innocence and beauty of her inner self. But there is a difference in women.
If a woman sincerely wants a good man and a successful marriage, she has to be the kind of woman who can stabilize that marriage and secure that man. She has to first understand what a true marriage entails and what is required of her and not just what a good man is supposed to do. On the other hand, if a woman just wants the fairytale romance, marriage and wedding, she is setting herself up for the typical American divorce story.
The very first thing a woman must understand is that her outward beauty - and any enhancements to it - will only attract a superficial man. If a man last only as long as the woman's beauty, he is obviously not a real man. Because that man will see the woman all times of the day, at her best and worse, it is important that women reveal her true self from the beginning.
If physical appearance is a priority in a woman's life, whether it be her own or the man she seeks, physical attraction (of the opposite sex) will inherently become a major factor (and problem). Vanity and self-flattery are superficial at most and fades as the years go by. The key is to find the beauty of self and enhance it naturally without additives or preservatives of make-up, jewelry or anything that has to be taken off before bed. There is such a thing as a natural inner-glow.
Second, a woman must be willing to learn the hard lessons of life; whether it be experienced with the one she loves or from the outside world itself. Meaning, she has to understand people of all socioeconomic levels, lifestyles, and circumstances. She must not close her eyes to poverty (because one day she may become impoverished); she must not sit on pedestals above others (because she could be brought down low in life), and she must be willing to deal with many types of people because she will have to deal with his family members and friends.
A woman should educate herself to the world and not enclose herself to just her surrounding areas. She must learn to travel, gain experience in a variety of skills, and have general knowledge of life's etiquettes, positive mannerisms, and good faith and will toward others. She cannot go through her life rude with an attitude, unlearned, intolerant and vile. She will surely be an embarrassment to her husband.
Women soon to be a wife should definitely know how to spend productively, save, and accumulate wealth or simple, residual income for her household. She cannot be slothful, unclean, or unorganized. She has to understand how to nurture her family in ways of health, emotional comfort, and guidance thus she has to be able to understand the difference between ignorance and reason.
She must be able to wisely discern between good company and bad; she can see trouble coming a mile away and she knows how to avoid the wrong crowds and teaches her children the same. Lastly, a woman has discipline over her sexual compulsions and knows that the most beautiful sex is lovemaking that gets better as the love grows deeper and as the years go by. She must never, ever, try to make her man jealous. She understands that if she loves her man from the heart built on the above characteristics, that he will have no reason to search for anyone else.
© Oct. 2017
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