family
The Crises of the Black Relationship
The amount of single Black women is increasing and the rates are rising faster each year. From 2005 to 2014, there was a 6% rise in single Black women and within the last 3 years since, those numbers are steadily going up. According to blackdemographics.com, currently "49%, just under half of all Black women, are single or have never been married". This phenomenon is a sure sign that the Black relationship is extremely out of balance with nature.
Black women in America are at a disadvantage because they are torn between choosing real love and securing their independence, but nature dictates that a person cannot have both. If you find love, you will have to compromise your independence and if you secure your independence, you leave no room for love. So the relationships in between are always 50-50 or at some other lopsided percentage.
Black men, on the other hand, are at an advantage because they have a large selection of women to choose from. The current laissez-faire social environment serves up all kinds of women on many emotional and mental levels. A man never knows what level any one woman is on and from what past relationship hell or paradise she has come. It is a constant gamble with men as well as women.
Many Black women are hurting one way or another; either from a bad past relationship, suffering from an empty sense of loneliness with a yearning to be held and loved, or hyped up on a secular sense of the "independent Black woman syndrome". But even these women - the independent Black women - are unconsciously concealing that deep sense of need. Human nature, fortunately, unveils any and all mask of self-conceit simply because all humans need love or a kindred spirit to draw energy from.
Black men face a much harsher reality. Though they have also experienced bad past relationships, suffer from loneliness, and commit to securing their own independence, Black men struggle with navigating through a sea of alluring, single Black women and the temptation it brings, almost daily. Because Black women are plentiful and need to be loved, Black men find it difficult to address those needs in any one, single Black woman without opening his heart and giving his all. And here is where it gets more complicated.
Love, of course, is the key to any real relationship. But love in its natural sense, has been diluted by mainstream society. Its meaning and purpose has become taboo and more people are losing faith in its preeminence; believing that true love is overrated, or that the effort to reinforce love is simply not worth it. Many have become afraid to love after being hurt once before.
Both Black men and women have become untrusting, suspicious, and protective of their hearts; not giving their all or only bits at a time. They have resorted to testing one another, setting up trial periods and even designing backup plans using other people. Relationships have in essence become games of high stakes of the heart. As a result, many people have landed in relationships that only outlast their strategy in the game.
Some people have never experienced true love and learn only what they know from television, song lyrics, and watching other people. These people end up fantasizing about the idea of love and go into relationships with the wrong mentality. They believe in tales of romance, happily ever after with problem-free spouses only to end up with their fairy tales dashed to pieces by the reality of life's seductions.
Any person with a diluted sense of love from their childhood will have to suffer through relationship after relationship until true love finds them; because true love between a man and a woman (husband and wife) filter down to the child by nature. If a child is raised by a single parent the only lesson they learn on a loving marriage comes from the outside world and its definition of love. And so the cycle continues.
As many more relationships fall apart and the concept of love is lost, the gap between strong two-parent families and single Black families, continue to grow. In 2014, "only 29% of African Americans were married compared to 48% of all Americans, and half or 50% of African Americans have never been married compared to 33% of all Americans" (blackdemographics.com).
As the Black relationship struggles to survive, life continues to deal hard blows of temptation, misinformation about love, and media propaganda created to offer alternatives to the male female bond and more people are becoming disillusioned. In other words, it's getting harder to love and to find love. This sad fact leaves people on guard all the time that are desperately protecting their hearts and minds from pain.
For the survival of the Black race, Black women need and deserved to be loved and Black children have to be raised by a loving couple. Too many women are raising children alone, who in turn, cannot adjust to the rapidly changing drama in society. A whole generation of Black men and women being raised by lovelorn Black women will be a generation of Black America who will bear the brunt of less loving and more confusing relationships.
Many have turned to homosexuality in male and female form from lack of nature's own love that comes from family life. They seek love in places that does not truly offer love but instead deceptions of love. Some find solace in drugs, violence, and sometimes eventually suicide. Black men must step up and learn the art of loving the Black woman, (1 woman) his children, and maintaining a secure family life for them both.
Black women, also, must offer herself to the future of the Black family and understand that although Black men are at an advantage where it pertains to his choice of Black women; he is, in contrast, at a disadvantage where it pertains to being a Black man in America. When Black women use the term "settling", they use it condescendingly behind a hidden agenda, an agenda proposing that maybe someday they will find true love or security in a different man.
While America is in a cultural war with itself and struggling to strike a balance between political ideologies, Black men and women must escape the immorality and think toward the future of the Black race. Money and power is destroying white America so we cannot become infected with the same ills. Black people are a loving people and have survived centuries under a seemingly godless society. Our only refuge is nature because nature brings forth love, and love is God's nectar.
© Aug. 2017
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