Bringing a Black man into this world, into this country, into this racialist society requires an unyielding plan, a devoted strategy that will avoid the forthcoming hurdles set before him. Below is a long term plan that if put into place by the single mother raising a Black son, could help defeat the traps set for him by the social structure of this country.
From Birth to Age 6
From the womb; love him and hold him close, as he is your Black man, your King and successor to the Pro-Black throne. Breatsfeed him, for it is the medicine he needs early on. Spend as much time as you can with him despite the social stigmas of single parenting.
Do not spoil him or bribe him with gifts of material things or promise him the vanity of fame, fortune and riches, by not doing these things you will teach him to appreciate what comes his way. We know that nothing is promised to us and that a humble life is better than vanity.
Stay close to him until he starts school and only leave him with people you trust. Introduce him to the concept of God and the fear of God and he will always feel protected and his faith will increase as his heart brings forth good fruit.
From Age 6 to 12
His memories has begun, make sure they are good ones. Remain steadfast on teaching him to appreciate things as they come and never stretch yourself too thin financially, to make him happy. He will appreciate it in time. Feed him good food and do not poison his young frame.
Begin to direct his thoughts toward goodness and kindness, for these things win in all the wars he will face in his life. Provide him a loving, friendly environment without the drama and street-tones and people. Introduce him to his family regardless of relations and constantly remind him of the positive people in his family's past, grandfathers, mothers, aunts and uncles, so he may have stories to tell and strength to draw from, subconsciously.
The only way he will learn to take school and life seriously is if he sees you doing positive things drawn from schooling and from life. Your example is the most persuasive that he can and will be able to use. And never, ever, talk down to him or about the Black man in his presence, he will hate himself.
From 12 to 18
Despite American standards, he is a young man now and he has developed his character that will be either respectful or shameful in the days and years to come. Listen closely to his words and answer accordingly. Keep him in books that discuss his people and history and science and literature.
Allow him to explore his talents yet do not limit him to the usual: sports, singing and dancing, in fact, try a mixture of athletics and direct and develop his mind toward the academic, toward knowledge and wisdom. He is brighter than you think.
Give him an allowance so he does not feel like he has to hustle. Teach him respect for all people and he will respect the law and old ladies alike.
Teach him which women are good for him and which are not. This is important. Teach him to respect women, better yet, show and demand respect for yourself and he will realize what makes a woman happy. Most importantly, make sure he does these things:
1. Graduate high school
2. Start college
3. Have a skill to earn money
4. Have an entreprenuer's mind
Make sure he does NOT these things:
1. Consume his mind with sex
2. Start using drugs
3. Emulate rappers and thug lifestyle
From 18 to 24
Leave him alone and let him go. Trust in him; yet keep him close to you. Do not regulate or pry into his affairs. Suggest and do not demand. Explain instead of threaten. Encourage instead of discourage.
Invest in his ideas and partner with his innovations. Seek out a positive circle of people that he can learn from and who will strengthen him. Support him in his hard times and rejoice with him when he triumphs.
If he has made it this far he will do well. If at any time he has strayed from the path, direct him back and do not give up or let go or turn him over to the elements of darkness. Be his comfort when he has no love. Be his friend when betrayal sets in, be his father when no man has words for him.
Teach your son to focus on his future by laying it out before him everyday of his life. Talk of the victory he will have in years to come. Discuss his future wife and children. Mention the day he walks across the stage into academic success and into the business of financial prosperity.
Love him hard and do not let up because he can feel you when you retreat from supporting him. Tell him the truth about the world in which he lives and do not lie, sugarcoat, or pretend there will be no troubles. He will love you for this and remember you when he has taken hold of life's promise.
© Jan 2017
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